My last day in the Leadership College Robert Barriger from Camino de Vida church in Peru came and led a seminar on world missions. It was for class credit but obviously since that would be my last day I didn't need the credit. I do believe, however, I didn't sit though that seminar for nothing. Pastor Robert explained what he believes to be the difference between a burden and a calling. How appropriate! After all, I had just decided to step away from my already guaranteed degree to pursue something I felt my Father wanted me to do.
To figure out if you're experiencing a burden or calling you need to do one thing...go. You won't know if you're meant to be somewhere if you never go and experience it for yourself. Also appropriate because I had literally just gotten back from encounter weekend at the STL dream center just a few days before. Pastor Robert goes on to say if when you get back and have meditated on the experience you feel a weight on your heart but are so glad that there are others there doing the work...that's a burden. You are willing to give and sacrifice just as long as you aren't the one having to devote your all to the place or cause. The beginning of a calling, on the other hand, is when you come back and all you can think and talk about is the people. Not complaining of the surroundings or the food but being over joyed by the hearts that where impacted while you where there. Pastor Robert said a lot of other great things as well and maybe I'll put those in another post some other day but for now I want to tell you of the people that are the reason I'm called. The ones who I can't get out of my mind...even if I really wanted to.
I'll start with Penny, a woman I met during street. Some of the wonderful Dream Center girls and myself had gone to Delmar loop, which takes a different kind of evangelistic approach...really its a lot like what we would do here in Clayton. Bless someone (our choice method was a Starbucks gift card)...open the door to talk about Jesus. There where three and I was given the last one to hand out. While walking down the street I had fallen behind the other four girls because I was focused on praying in spirit that God would open my eyes to who needed to know He loved them most. It took some time. In fact, we must have walked up and down the street three times before I found her, before I found Penny. We walked by this food place, I don't know I guess it could've been like a Jimmy Johns or something, I really have no clue. Immediately I knew it was her who needed it. I was so excited that I left behind the girl who was supposed to go with me (never do street alone...rule one). As I approached Penny she was sitting at a table in the corner by herself with a ton of papers in front of her. I really had no clue what to expect but I had no fear. Nothing was going through my mind except that I needed to communicate His unending love to her. I approached her and greeted her. I told her I felt like God was telling me to bless her with the card then I asked if we could pray for her. That was all it took. Penny ended up talking our ears off. I could tell you her whole life story if I had to it seems. Luckily my dream center partner helped close the conversation as we had a curfew to make. It wasn't until after really analyzing the whole situation that I realized the impact it made on me. At first I had written it off because of the experience I had the first time I went on street with the guy I'll tell you about later in the post. Penny did leave a mark on me though. I can't really explain how...maybe it's that I should talk less and listen more, hurting people have a lot to say. I just know that scene of standing there and talking to her replays through my head all the time. It's wonderful really, when there's no fear to approach someone with the means of talking about the Savior that rescued you.
Then there's Antoine. This guy is really something else. I met him during adopt-a-block the Saturday I went back to STL by myself. I went out with another great group of dream center students to knock on doors and connect with the people who live on the blocks located around the dream center. Really I just ended up picking up trash but hey I don't mind. If that's what it takes...sign me up. We were wrapping up our day when this SUV that's driving by starts honking its horn... I can tell you that going through all of our minds was Oh goodness...whats about to go down? We all turn to look at this guy(Antoine) getting out of his car; red shorts, white shirt. As he approached he engages us asking if we're from the dream center. One of the ladies from the dream center responded and entered into a conversation with Antoine. I sat back and watched the whole conversation unfold. A lot was said but the thing that I keep thinking about is how he thanked us (or technically them) for the consistency the dream center shows on those blocks. Consistency is beautiful. Consistency is necessary if you want to see a real change. Consistency in serving is something I want to be apart of. I keep telling everybody how in awe I was of this young guy purposely stopping us just to say they're doing a good job...in the middle of the hood. You can't tell me that the dream center isn't making an impact because I've seen it first hand. Antoine is another story that I could paint you a vivid picture of because it's still so fresh in my mind.
I saved my favorite for last; Rob, a man that’s homeless that I met during my first street ever. That experience is going to be a hard one to live up to, mainly because I'm passionate about individuals that are homeless. That night played out like this. It was the first time our particular Leadership college group had done street ministry together. I had never done it before and was completely nervous. A part of me felt like I wasn't strong enough in my faith to lead someone else into it. The beginning of the night went alright. The person I was paired up with took the lead on all the conversations...which kind of bummed me out BUT the last conversation of the night was worth it. After the group, minus myself and Kaitlyn, had led a few guys to Christ during a restroom pit stop we headed over to the local homeless shelter…a.k.a my comfort zone. I’ve never been afraid on individuals that are homeless…even though I’m told I should be. So we went and my partner and I tried speaking to this man but his vernacular was so disheveled that we couldn’t understand a thing he was saying, We leaned in trying to listen harder but nothing was making sense, except when we asked if we could pray for him he clearly said no. So we moved on and caught up with the rest of our team who had finished talking to their people. We all gathered and prayed a brief prayer for the man who wouldn’t let us pray for him. But then there was nobody left to talk to. We’re surrounded by people but everyone had already been approached about Jesus that night. We only had like 10 minutes left until we we’re supposed to leave to go back to the dream center, so here’s what I did. The entire night I felt a little uneasy, kind of like I was pushing my faith on people. There’s that saying that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. I really care for people who have to sleep outside at night. I can’t explain why, it’s just a natural attraction I have towards them. So I approached this man (Rob) with no desire other than to let him know somebody does care. I had no intention of talking about Jesus…he had already heard all of that… sometimes people just want to feel that connection with another person. I greeted him , told him my name, and offered him a chewy bar. I noticed he wasn’t looking at me but ahead towards the hustle and bustle of the streets. So I asked him if that’s what he does all night…it is. I asked him if he sleeps…he doesn’t. Just in case you’re wondering, he didn’t seem to be on any substances or have any particular mental illness that would be the cause of his homeless. He seemed pretty normal and responded very well to all I was asking him. I told him about the project I did on homelessness in Raleigh, he thought that was cool. I asked him how far he has to walk to get from place to place. Keep in mind for people in Raleigh its 5-10 a day. His answer was 8-14. Having to walk 14 miles a day is crazy. He let me pick up his bag to feel how heavy it is. It’s heavy. He carries that bag all of his days walking, watching, walking, watching. That’s his life. So I asked him if he didn’t mind me asking why in the world is he homeless. If you know anything about homelessness the three main causes are substance abuse, mental illness, and unemployment, his was the latter. He told me he has a trade and that he’s trying to find work but not being able to because when he goes into an interview he’s labeled as homeless and written off. I shared with him how homelessness should never be what defines him. Christ died for him just as much as He died for me. He’s equal not less. With that our conversation had to come to an abrupt end. Our lovely dream center guide had been shouting the code word for us to get back to the van… I didn’t hear it until the end of what I was telling Rob. I gave him another chewy bar ( I liked him too much not to give him my last one) and left. If I’ve ever shared anything about my senior project with you then you would know that I’ve been praying for a candid conversation like that to take place since the day I started my project over a year before. I never got it in the timing that I thought I needed but I received it in His timing. How beautiful things are when they’re Gods timing and not your own! So Rob might just be my favorite person on the planet…but he’ll never know that. He is what sparked that first feeling of a call within my heart. If I could thank him, I would thank him a thousand times.
These are just a few stories that where the beginning of my calling. These are the stories that I tell people over and over again and I’m just as excited as I was the first time I told it. One of my favorite things that Pastor Robert said during the seminar was:
The Bible doesn’t say for God so loved the world that He
sent a text or an email…it says that for He so loved the world that He sent a
physical person to rescue it.
I can’t save these people but I can lead them to the one who
can. Jesus came to this Earth a missionary. He left His Father in Heaven to
come here to a place less perfect in order to give us a home again. It’s a
beautiful picture, it really is.
No comments:
Post a Comment